Bragging on my younger cousin’s sobriety
I was scrolling FB this morning and seen a very long post made by my younger cousin that I haven't seen in almost a year. I started to read and quickly started to break out in tears. I was how she recently broke free from the chains of addiction. I can't be more proud of her for breaking this sickness and becoming vulnerable enough to openly share her story. Here is her story in her own words.
Tomorrow marks a day that I truly never thought would happen, I’ll be 6 months sober from alcohol. I started drinking at 15 and it changed my life forever. All my anxieties and worries that I had washed away when I drank. I felt like I was on the top of the world; that I could talk to anyone and it allowed me to make friends. It’s like I could do all the things that I felt like I couldn’t my whole life.
I kept drinking consistently up until college but when I turned 21 things turned for the worse. What was just me drinking on the weekends and occasionally on weekdays, turned into me drinking every single day…. for years. I had became a version of myself that I truly did not recognize. I was isolating myself from friends and family; I even started drinking during the day. I almost lost the people that I love the most because I had became so anxious, paranoid, and not myself. I felt like everyone was against me and that I was going to die someday by drinking myself to death. I thought that no one cared, not even myself.
6 months ago, I had my last sip of alcohol without realizing that it was going to be my last. It was a Sunday and I felt terrible, as usual. I normally drank all day on Sundays just to make myself feel better for the day and to get rid of Sunday scaries, but something stopped me from drinking that day. I knew I needed to stop, I had been trying for years without success, but I could not get myself to do it long term. I had quit for a couple of months one time and was so proud of myself, so I had to celebrate… which I did with more alcohol This particular time 6 months ago, I had stopped for a couple of days and truly felt like I was going to die going through withdrawals so I decided to go to the doctor and come clean on how long I had been drinking. I told my doctor how long I had been trying to stop and how badly I needed to get back on medication for my anxiety. The alcohol was ruining my life and I needed to share it with someone. I am so glad that I told my doctor everything that day. She talked to me and told me that I was an alcoholic, something I had known for a while, but had never admitted out loud. She told me that I needed to talk to my husband and my family about my problem to hold me accountable and I listened. Right after I got home from the doctor, I told my husband, my sister, my parents, my brothers, and my best friends. I broke down and just told them how badly I needed help and how I had to stop drinking or I was going to end up drinking myself to death. Everyone was so supportive and I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. The heavy burden that I had for years was gone. Everyone knew that I had a problem and tried to help me, but I finally was ready to help myself. I was going to prove to them that I could stay sober.
I look back over the last 6 months with so much joy. I had to learn to be myself without alcohol which was difficult because I had always had it as my crutch. Over the past 6 months: I stopped drinking, got back on anxiety meds, got the sparkle back in my eyes, lost weight, gained weight, got an amazing new job, went to see my favorite band @telltale, went to the beach twice, went to Asheville with my bffs, watched my best friend in the whole world get married, and even got to give a speech at her wedding. These are all things that I never thought I could do without alcohol. If you would have told me 6 months ago, that I had given a speech in front of almost 100 people and nailed it while being sober… I would have laughed so hard and asked if you were joking. I have felt giddy like a kid again, laughter has come back to my life, and I have felt true happiness. Things that I believed I would never feel again. It has definitely been worth the struggle and the heartache. Alcohol made me numb like I had no feelings. I had lost myself, but I can happily say that I have found her again and she’s pretty freaking cool.
Anxiety and depression have been a huge part of my life for so long, the alcohol making them both so much worse. I am so happy that I went to the doctors on May 8th, 2024 and listened. I still have my days where I struggle with the time that I wasted while drinking and the friends and family that I lost because of it, but I can’t focus on the past, I can only focus on the future. To my true friends and family, I love y’all so much. You are the reason I am here today.
It is so hard for me to share things like this about myself, especially publicly. I know I don’t even have to make this post, but maybe it’ll help someone and change their life too. If anyone is struggling with alcoholism, feel free to reach out to me so we can talk about it. I can’t say it will solve all of your problems, but it can only help. I promise the other side of addiction is so worth it.
Opening up is the best thing anyone can do to recover. No more secrets and no more lies. I have been praying for her today that God guides and keeps her life on the right path.
